College of Business installs new Bloomberg terminals no one is qualified to operate

The newly named Heider College of Business installed a dozen new Bloomberg terminals last month inside the Harper Center in order to increase student interest in the stock market, unfortunately no one knows exactly how to operate them.

 “We were really excited for the new Bloomberg terminals to be installed in  the Harper Center, even though no one had any idea what they were for or how to  use them.” sophomore finance major Robert Lablaw said.

The business students sat down for their first interactive stock market experience  only to realize that Bloomberg terminals are not simply wide screened apple  computers with the word “Bloomberg” written on them.

“The keyboards were different, everything was very foreign to me – and I know computers,” junior business information major David Chang said.

The department is hoping to hire some younger, more tech savvy professors that have knowledge of the wacky and unorthodox machines, but at this point, their future usability is still in question.

“At least they look cool when prospective students on tours walk by,”  Chang optimistically pointed out.