Fr. Hendrickson doesn’t speak poor, seen wearing AirPods

Early Tuesday afternoon, Creighton’s president Fr. Daniel Hendrickson, S.J., commonly referred to by students as “Daddy H,” was seen wearing AirPods.

“I honestly feel more connected to him than ever,” said junior Terry Cloth. “It’s like now I know we speak the same language, and that language is not poor.”

Students with AirPods often walk on campus with a sense of superiority over their less fortunate peers.

However, due to the average Creighton student’s level of wealth, AirPods are not a rare sight.

“Like I see someone without them and I’m just like ‘dude, you’re cords look so stupid,'” said sophomore Jerry Lewis, who has a paid internship and two parents who make over $150k each.

“Yeah, I saw Daddy H wearing his Pods,” continued Lewis. “I don’t know, it kind of makes them less cool. But I’m not gonna stop wearing them. I have a rep to keep up, just like he does.”

Rumor has it that, with Father Hendrickson’s encouragement, Creighton will start phasing out their patented POM safety devices in order to offer each student a pair of Pods.

A statement was released on the matter that read: “We feel like giving each of our student the ability for a ‘soft flex’ is something that truly lies at the heart of the Jesuit value of Cura Personalis.”