Athletic department questions branding campaign
After coming to the stunning realization that Creighton has not won a single National Championship in any sport, The Athletic Department is scrambling to find a new name for their newest addition to campus, “The Championship Center”.
“I think we just assumed that somewhere along the line we actually had won a national championship in something – anything,” Athletic Department spokesperson Mary Martinez said. “I guess we assumed that a program with this sort of support had actually accomplished getting to the top of the mountain at least once. I mean, what sort of school gets an invite to the Big East without one?”
Martinez blamed the department’s omission of the fact due to their extreme focus on the physical construction of making the building a reality.
“First and foremost, it was important to us to make sure that this complex was built. At this point we may just have to hope we win a national championship in something or find an alumni willing to cover it by the time it is done.” Martinez said.
According to creighton.edu, “The approximately 43,000 square-foot building relocates Athletics from the Vinardi Center/Old Gym, freeing up that space for future use by the University…This facility is important to Creighton because of the visibility and revenue that successful athletics programs generate, in addition to the campus spirit they bring to the Creighton experience.”
The University began searching for a donor to name the building early in the first semester of this year, but after the generous donation from the Heiders in the form of the business school, they weren’t sure where to turn next. (Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge)
“We’ve tapped out our alumni. As it turns out, their is a limit to how much cash you can milk them for. Eventually, things just slow down.” Martinez explained
In the event a donor can’t be found or the Jays don’t bring home a national title, possible name changes to the building will be taken to a vote.