The 4 Best Places to Break Up with Someone on Campus

Are you and your valentine headed for spiltsville? Whether you’re looking to make a scene or need a private space to “talk about us,” here are the best places on campus to break up with your significant other…

1. McGloin Parking Lot – Lower Level

Freezing temps, usually dark, lots of trash. Break the news to your partner in a place you know they want to spend the least amount of time in. Pro Tip: Make sure you drove to campus separately.

2. In line at Erbs & Gerbs

Worried they’ll try to escape the inevitable? Break up with them while waiting for lunch – your significant other will be forced to hear you out if they want to enjoy their Boney Billy. Or they’ll leave and you’ll end up paying for it. It’s a 50/50 shot.

3. St. John’s

Worried obscenities might get thrown around? Choose a more private setting like St. John’s Church. Invite your partner to candlelight mass and gently break the news to them during the sign of peace. Then after communion you can subtly switch pews so things don’t get awkward.

4. The Middle Stair in Skutt

Looking to cause a scene? Devastate your partner by airing your dirty laundry in the middle of Skutt! Pro Tip: Make sure you’ve rehearsed those comebacks before the big day – your audience wants to see a show and you DO NOT want to look like an amateur.